PHOTOVOICE

As Director of Golden Rainbows of Illinois South (GRIS), I also have the privilege of being a part of OutAging under the umbrella of Pride Action Tank in Chicago, where I became aware of their PhotoVoice project and the impact it had on the aging LGBTQ folks as well as the power a PhotoVoice could have in terms of advocacy. With funding from SAGE to expand GRIS’s GetUp & GetOut program, it was decided to include a PhotoVoice project under the GUGO expansion. It’s powerful when aging LGBTQ folks can tell a story through photography and adding a narrative. - Billy

Lisa Hollabaugh

Lisa Hollabaugh was born in Dallas and has resided in Southern Illinois since 1986 when she began graduate school in SIUC’s Counseling Psychology Department, ultimately earning her doctoral degree. She recently retired after working twenty-six years as a Clinical Psychologist for the State of Illinois. She is active with First Presbyterian and First Christian Churches in Carbondale and enjoys volunteering, singing and playing handbells, amateur crochet and photography, and spending time with family and her dog Ginger.

You may have heard the saying, “There’s no hate like Christian love.” I feel hopeful when I see Daniel Quasar’s 2018 Progress Pride flag—illuminated by a cheerful sunbeam of light—greeting visitors at First Presbyterian Church of Carbondale.
My decades-long friendship with Pastor Karen at First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) underscores my connection to this Open and Affirming faith community which has been a cornerstone of downtown Carbondale since 1862.
Each June, I’m excited to join those gathering on the front lawn First Presbyterian Church of Carbondale to cheer on participants of the annual LBGTQ+ Pride March and Cruise. Although its sanctuary dates back to the turn of the Twentieth Century, First Pres is just one of multiple progressive Christian faith communities in Southern Illinois.
Decades ago, I sang with the choir at the Church of the Good Shepherd (UCC)—one of the O.G. queer-affirming Christian churches in Carbondale. The experience of a gay church member being denied ordination due to their sexual orientation led this pioneering faith community to declare itself the area’s first Open and Affirming church.
My heart swells at the diversity of pride flags—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Pansexual—billowing in the wind. Similarly, I hope that underrepresented GSRM communities feel buoyed and energized by the support from affirming faith communities and houses of worship in Southern Illinois.

Dennis Gauger

I was born in S Illinois in 1949, raised in N Illinois, I am a high school graduate. Worked most of my work life as a 9-1-1 tele-communicator in N Illinois. I moved back to S Illinois around 1990. I lived my life in very deep terror, that I would be exposed as a homosexual; that would have been a certain job killer for me, and very possibly a family killer as well.

I came out as GAY about 20 years ago, after hearing many sermons by our very affirming minister, who often said “you can’t expect others to accept who you are, until YOU accept who YOU are.” My life since has been very open and rewarding since. I’ve never regretted coming out, and neither should you….

Being labeled a “black sheep” does not always carry a negative connotation as I discovered later in my life. It now means (to me) resilience, authenticity and a challenge to those who seek to oppress our community, as we live our lives true to ourselves despite social expectations.
As I myself know, depression is very common in the LGBTQ+ community. Powerful feelings of sadness and hopelessness, among a variety of other powerful emotions. All to often in the LGBTQ+ community this can end in tragedy, as I also know it can be defeated.
The pink triangle (pointed down) was a symbol of horrible persecution for homosexual men in Nazi Germany, on the street and in the extermination camps. Today, this symbol has been reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community as a symbol of pride, resistance and solidarity. In order for others to accept who you are, YOU must first openly accept who YOU are. Not all will accept who you are, but, the most important step on your journey is to accept who YOU are, you’ll be pleasantly surprised, and yes some disappointment, but it’s rewarding.
There are numerous (and growing) civic and religious organizations, like GRIS and RAINBOW CAFE, that eagerly support the LBGTQ+ community. I found these groups to be very valuable to my own life.
For me, and I am certain for others childhood memories are very precious memories. Beloved friends, beautiful fun filled experiences, that we hold in warmth deep in the recesses of our minds.

Julie

Phillips

My name is Julie Phillips, and I am 68 years old. For most of my life, I’ve called Southern Illinois home, living primarily in Carbondale and Murphysboro. I went to Carbondale Community High School, graduated in 1974 and after a short and somewhat unsuccessful stint at college, I enlisted in the Air Force for a four-year tour and went back to school in 1982. I later graduated from Southern Illinois University with a degree in Photojournalism.

In my professional life, I wore many hats. I worked as a photojournalist, a K9 police officer, and later, a special education teacher. I was fortunate in that I didn’t face much discrimination in the workplace, but I still carried the habit of keeping parts of myself hidden, always aware of how different I was. Fitting in, or at least pretending to, remained a defense mechanism.

Looking back, I wouldn’t change how or where I spent my years as a lesbian in Southern Illinois. Carbondale, in particular, became something of an oasis, offering a sanctuary amid an otherwise conservative landscape. While it was dangerous at first, the city eventually grew into a more accepting place, thanks in large part to the younger LGBTQ+ community, who embraced their identities boldly and unapologetically.

Sadly, as the political tides have shifted, particularly during the Trump era, I worry about the safety and acceptance of today’s LGBTQ+ youth. Progress, it seems, is always fragile.

Throughout my life, I’ve been acutely aware of the gender bias that runs deep in this country, especially in the small-town, conservative atmosphere of Southern Illinois. For so long, if a woman pursued a male-dominated field, she was labeled a lesbian, and if a man entered a traditionally female profession, he was assumed to be gay. Neither was accepted. But recently, when I walked into my welding class, I was overjoyed to see that things are finally changing. I saw people—just people—engaged in what they were passionate about, free from outdated expectations and restrictions. It was a glimpse of the future I had hoped for, where people are simply allowed to be who they are.
In this photograph, the frog's near-perfect camouflage serves as a powerful metaphor for my experiences as a lesbian navigating a world that often demands conformity. Just as the frog blends into its surroundings, I have often felt the need to mask my true self to avoid judgment. This image captures the beauty and struggle of camouflage—while it can be a survival tactic, it also emphasizes the tension between authenticity and acceptance. Like the frog, I strive to find a balance between blending in and embracing the vibrant colors of who I truly am.
The 70’s and 80’s were not a friendly time for gays and lesbians but, despite the challenges, I was blessed with a strong community of friends—people and places where I could be myself without fear. Still, the world I lived in wasn’t without tragedy. Two moments shaped my life profoundly: the brutal murder of a young man at a local gay meetup near one of the lakes, and the devastating loss of my best friend to the AIDS epidemic. I often, throughout the years felt small next to the majority that seemed so large. With the support and acceptance of the circle of lifelong friends here in southern Illinois I found courage, determination and strength to be exactly who I am. And, the realization that in this very large world, we are all small.
For much of my life, being a lesbian felt like living with an unshakable sense of difference—an otherness that could be frightening and, at times, dangerous. It wasn't just the fear of being hurt by the world around me, but also the quiet weight of sadness, loss, and a deep loneliness that settled in, like being trapped in a cage. That cage kept me separate, restrained, and isolated, and for years, it seemed like a prison I would never escape. But over time, I’ve come to realize that being in a cage isn’t always what it seems. It may confine, but it also protects, offering space to reflect, grow, and understand who you are on your own terms. And sometimes, it’s the act of surviving inside that cage—of learning to find peace within it—that allows you to emerge stronger when the doors finally open.
Driving to class recently, I crested a hill and was met by the sight of a beautiful field, softly wrapped in a misty fog. In an instant, I was transported back to my early 20s, to a time when I was falling for a woman—new, exciting, and, as the world dictated then, forbidden. Back then, there were so few places where we could be together openly, safely. We found refuge in the quiet corners of life, and one of those was an old farmhouse, a sanctuary owned by friends. I remember one early morning, the two of us walking along a fence row that edged a sprawling field, the same kind of delicious fog curling around everything in sight. The mist embraced us, just as the world turned its back, and for those fleeting moments, we were free—intimately connected, hidden in the folds of the deepening fog and the soft light of the sunrise. It was a love both delicate and dangerous, yet in that moment, it felt safe, natural, and heartbreakingly perfect.

GRIS Programs

Get Up and Get Out: Energize Your Life with GRIS

Are you looking for a way to stay active, meet new friends, and embrace a healthier lifestyle? Look no further than the "Get Up and Get Out" program, brought to you by Golden Rainbows of Illinois South (GRIS)!

What is Get Up and Get Out?

"Get Up and Get Out" is an innovative wellness initiative designed to promote physical activity, mental well-being, and social connection among LGBTQ+ seniors and allies in Southern Illinois. This program offers a variety of engaging activities tailored to meet you at your ability level, ensuring everyone can participate and benefit.

When and Where?

Join us on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Wednesdays of each month at the Rainbow Cafe Community Center. Our welcoming space provides the perfect environment for fostering community and personal growth.

Activities Offered

Yoga for All Levels

Stretch, strengthen, and relax with our inclusive yoga sessions. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced yogi, our instructors will guide you through poses that suit your ability.

Chi-Gong: Harmonize Your Energy

Experience the gentle, flowing movements of Chi-Gong. This ancient Chinese practice helps improve balance, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.

Exciting Game Nights

Connect with others and stimulate your mind during our fun-filled game nights. From board games to card games, there's something for everyone!

Why Choose Get Up and Get Out?

Inclusive Environment: Our program welcomes individuals of all abilities and backgrounds.
Health Benefits: Improve your physical fitness, mental clarity, and emotional well-being.
Social Connections: Build lasting friendships within the LGBTQ+ community and beyond.
Expert Guidance: Our experienced instructors ensure safe and effective activities for all participants.
Flexible Participation: Attend one, two, or all three sessions each month – it's up to you!

Don't let another day pass you by. It's time to Get Up and Get Out with Golden Rainbows of Illinois South! Join us in creating a healthier, happier, and more connected community.

For more information or to register, contact GRIS today. Your journey to a more vibrant life starts here!

#LGBTQ+ #SeniorWellness #CommunityHealth #SouthernIllinois #ActiveLiving #InclusiveFitness

PHOTOVOICE

Lisa Hollabaugh

You may have heard the saying, “There’s no hate like Christian love.” I feel hopeful when I see Daniel Quasar’s 2018 Progress Pride flag—illuminated by a cheerful sunbeam of light—greeting visitors at First Presbyterian Church of Carbondale.

My decades-long friendship with Pastor Karen at First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) underscores my connection to this Open and Affirming faith community which has been a cornerstone of downtown Carbondale since 1862.

My heart swells at the diversity of pride flags—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Pansexual—billowing in the wind. Similarly, I hope that underrepresented GSRM communities feel buoyed and energized by the support from affirming faith communities and houses of worship in Southern Illinois.

Dennis Gauger

Being labeled a “black sheep” does not always carry a negative connotation as I discovered later in my life. It now means (to me) resilience, authenticity and a challenge to those who seek to oppress our community, as we live our lives true to ourselves despite social expectations.

As I myself know, depression is very common in the LGBTQ+ community. Powerful feelings of sadness and hopelessness, among a variety of other powerful emotions. All to often in the LGBTQ+ community this can end in tragedy, as I also know it can be defeated.

There are numerous (and growing) civic and religious organizations, like GRIS and RAINBOW CAFE, that eagerly support the LBGTQ+ community. I found these groups to be very valuable to my own life.

For me, and I am certain for others childhood memories are very precious memories. Beloved friends, beautiful fun filled experiences, that we hold in warmth deep in the recesses of our minds.